Out of every recent advertisement that includes an athlete, the one I like the least is the commercial with Calvin Johnson of the Detroit Lions getting dressed up in luxurious clothing instead of his uniform. First of all, you have to shower first, and a grown man should dress himself. Also, I don't really want to see a half-naked man on television. The commercial's intention is to say a new car, an Acura, is both powerful and elegant. They used Calvin Johnson, a strong and talented all-pro wide receiver, to insinuate power, and dressed him up in expensive, fine clothing to show elegance and luxury. The idea is okay, I just don't find the commercial that interesting. It is a little bit clever, but in the end the company did nothing to talk about the car and it's accessories, so it is pointless. That's just my opinion.

When trying to choose a sports advertisement I do like, I find it hard to choose from the many Sportscenter commercials that include a famous athlete or two, which are all meant to be comical. I find almost every one of them hilarious, as they pick out athletes who have odd quirks or differences, and use them to make a funny commercial. What I really enjoy about them is the fact that they are only funny to those of us who keep up with sports pretty regularly. Some of them, such as the commercial with John Anderson faking an injury when Abby Wambach walks by, are only understood by people who watched or heard about the soccer game in which a player flopped obviously and embarrassingly on the pitch. The fact that some people don't get them makes them entertaining. My favorite, or one of my favorites, is probably the one where a young Kobe Bryant and Keyshawn Johnson are brought into a room where ESPN personalities teach them how to talk to the media. When asked how to address a question regarding a bad call in the game, each player responds that it was a "bad" call or a "cruddy" call. The announcers yell at them and say they have to swear and curse at the media when answering these questions. It's funny to watch, but it's also ironic because both players are quite honest and colorful in their interviews, and commentators really do like these responses because they make good headlines.

ONCE AGAIN I was getting to the best part of my dream with the hottest chick and the freakin alarm goes off...and it went off late! I threw on my filthy clothes with a grunt and heavy breathing, and i had to grind my teeth together to keep from punching a hole in the wall (another one) when i realized the fridge was empty. Just great! Now im hungry, disappointed, tired as hell and late for work for the third time this week. Oh, wait, it gets better...the highway was gridlocked. I sat in the same damn place for almost 15 minutes without moving an inch. I finally start to move and some SOB cuts me off...i hope his little girl in the back seat wasnt old enough to understand the words i spat at him, or the gesture. Finally i speed into the parking lot at work, and squeal into the only space available, about 100 yards from my office. My blood was boiling at this point, and the intense heat radiating off of the asphalt had little to do with that. I stormed into my office soaked with sweat, only to find the AC broken like it was a month before. I slammed my fist down on the desk in frustration, which of course ended in nothing but a broken pinky. I almost screamed as red filled my vision, the daunting day of work ahead of me breaking me down. Finally i sat down long enough to notice the ugly neon colored sticky note stuck to my desktop. I did as it said, and sat outside my boss' office cursing her out in my head as i wondered why she would want to see me and not even be there at the allotted time. By the time she arrived with that fake smile on her plastic face i was ready to imitate the man at the bar who put a fist to snookis face. I withheld, only to learn that "my services were no longer needed". Say what? I work harder than anyone in this godforsaken place, and a few times showing up late gets me booted?! I left without a response, fearing for her safety more than anything. I left quickly (no officer, the tires on the boss' car were slashed before i got there) and sped home. A speeding ticket and a near assault on a cop later, i flew into my driveway and marched inside yelling expletives that my neighbors were quite used to at this point. I attempted to call my girlfriend to let her know what had happened, but i couldnt calm down enough to find the words, and smashed the phone down onto the tile instead. My alarm clock went next. I guess at some point the fracture in my hand got to me, as i finally laid down to nurse my finger with a bag of ice and let the numbness overtake me. One too many shots and i fell back asleep (or blacked out), and i got back my amazing dream, my only hope of escaping reality.

My favorite sports movie is probably "The Sandlot". The movie is a classic, and it certainly includes aspects of friendship and the idea of nerds or smaller, nonathletic kids getting something thought unattainable. The theme is a group of friends playing pick-up games of baseball and having to deal with conflict with other children and with "The Beast". They grow together as a group and it shows how struggles can bring friends together. The lonely boy Smalls finally fits in and feels accepted. The goofy nerd gets the hot lifeguard to smile at him with his little trick. Benny is the leader and becomes the superstar, and he is hailed as the perfect character in the story, heroic and talented. They face difficult odds in retrieving the signed ball from the dog, but they work together and do their best to reach their goal (although in a roundabout way). There is even the classic "magical negro" in the story, a blind man who owns the dog and helps the kids out when they work up the courage to ask. He offers them insight and assistance, and seems extremely wise even as poor and blind as he is.

You notice stereotypes in the story such as the skinny, lonely loser who doesn't play sports and is not very good at anything it seems other than school. He longs to fit in, but has to face the stereotypical group of jocks who are reluctant to accept him, but his assistance in their conflicts helps him gain their friendship. The boys have fun playing and hanging out, and they come closer than ever. Benny "The Jet" remains the seemingly perfect character who everyone longs to be. He is the most athletic of the group and is one of the kindest, most modest people in the story. He never shows the cockiness or arrogance of typical superstars, and is a genuine person who was willing to put himself in potential danger to help a new friend who was very desperate. He had nothing to gain, and this stereotypical perfect person is common in many sports movies. Klosterman mentions in his essay ideas of fake reality, and Benny many be one who illustrates this as he is a rare occurrence in the sports world.

My favorite "non-sports" movie is currently "TED". The movie seems to be just a romantic comedy (one of my favorite movie genres, hate on it) with little point behind it. However, with a little help I realize that there is a lot of classic ideas woven into the movie related to adult relationships. It seems to have an underlying theme based on the importance of growing up and maturing to fit in with groups in the world. The main character is bullied and anti-social at a young age, and a magical wish gives him a talking teddy bear to befriend. As he grows into a young adult, however, he gets into a serious relationship with Mila Kunis (had to mention her) and struggles with his job and making a reasonable income. Ted remains his best friend and they get into a lot of trouble, and it's pretty funny, but he realizes with a push from his girlfriend that he needs to move on and become a man.  This is the central theme behind the movie, as he struggles to keep his best friend, girlfriend and job all at once. He has to make choices and set priorities, something many people have to do as they age, and the movie illustrates this conflict of interests.

The movie includes several stereotypes that are mostly made clear for comical reasons, but they are related to groups in the real world. For example, several stereotypes about Boston natives, pot-heads, and wealthy businessmen are made. There is even an anti-Semitic reference, and stereotypes about people who have yet to let go of something they were not allowed as a child. A creepy father dwells on his childhood love of the bear, and now looks to take him from the main character for his son to play with. He becomes a major antagonist, and this illustrates a key point on how a childhood obsession or anti-social lifestyle can lead to a demented and obsessive adulthood. The businessman in the story is often trying to show off his wealth and play the gentleman to win over the lady, who also falls into the stereotype of a needy woman. She demands attention, which she is not given by her boyfriend because of Ted, and the businessman tries to pry them apart. The references made to categorize people are numerous in the movie, and they are perceived as quite true by most of the American community.